The (Secret) Meaning of Beards

Now that normcore fashion is old news and the curated lumbersexual look has broken the confines of the gay community, Williamsburg and Canada, men are more free to craft their hirsute assets into personal statements. What the Dollar Shave Club taketh away, testosterone (if you're lucky), a little bit of patience and grooming bringeth back. Now it's more important than ever to know the Meaning of Beards, so you can make the appropriate statement. And whether you spell it moustaches or mustaches, you're gonna need some product to get that shit in order.